“What do I do with video evidence of a man pooping on my sidewalk? #curbyourself”

That’s what South Philadelphia wrestler, Brian Johnson, wants to know. Soon after tweeting at the 3rd District Police this question, he answered it himself with the only possible solution: post the video online.

If you don’t want to watch the video, don’t click the video.

From PhillyVoice:

The tale starts around 10:30 p.m. Thursday when Johnson and his girlfriend Stacy were walking home from watching the NCAA tournament games.

As they approached their home near Fifth and Watkins streets, “We saw some drunk guy kicking snow. We had no idea who he was and didn’t pay it much mind. We walked into our house right behind him in that video.”

Fast forward to Friday night, and Johnson got a text from Stacy. She typed that “I think someone took a s— in the snow” and asked him to look at her Snapchat because she thought it might’ve been “explosive diarrhea.”

The next day, the couple noticed the excrement hadn’t gone anywhere, and that “nobody tried to clean it up,” so they tapped into their security video and rewound to Thursday night.

“Lo and behold, there was a man s—ting on my sidewalk, yelling at his s— or some mystical creature outside. It was all mumbles, some F words and other curses,” Johnson recalled of what they heard when passing by the man on Thursday night.

As for what happened after the video cuts off, Johnson said the man “just kind of walks back and forth and then leaves.”

Brian Johnson, a professional wrestler from South Philadelphia, sent police video of someone pooping on his sidewalk.

When asked what kind of move he’d perform on the defiler if he got him in the wrestling ring, the 27-year-old Johnson just chuckled.

6 thoughts on ““What do I do with video evidence of a man pooping on my sidewalk? #curbyourself”

  • March 21, 2017 at 11:30 am

    That’s crappy.

    • March 22, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Gives you lemons?


  • March 21, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    What a shitty person!

  • March 21, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Hoax! I call a Hoax! Fake News! After a google search of the guy, this “Professional Wrestler” has a very similar build as the pooper.

  • March 22, 2017 at 10:03 am

    Last week – middle of the afternoon, I noticed a man squatting and looking around near the alley gate across the street from my house. At first I thought he might be a lookout for someone breaking into houses from the alley (it’s happened before). Then he hunched his way over to a parked car where he squatted for a few more moments. Then he painfully squat walked his way across the street and into a parking garage with his pants around his ankles. He emerged a few moments later pulling up his pants and wiping his hands on whatever he could find. Then back into his car and drove away…I was shocked…and I know the garage has tons of cameras…wonder if it’s the same guy!

    • March 23, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      We’ve got a serial pooper!

Comments are closed.